Living the StatTracker Life

Every year around week three of the fantasy football season, I break down and pony up $9.95 to the good folks at Yahoo! so I can enjoy minute-by minute updates of my games on Sunday. Without sounding too much like a shill for a company that is definitely not paying me, let me try to explain for those of you who are squinting at CBS’s ticker all afternoon trying to figure out what is going on or (heaven forbid) just set your lineups and try to figure it out tomorrow.

Be Fruitful and Multiply!

First of all, let me speak to those of you who draft just one fantasy football team a year: what Bill Cosby once said of parents of just one child, I say about you. You are not real fantasy football owners. I have four teams a year: just enough to play a couple of formats and with different groups of friends, not so many that I am drafting teams I don’t intend to keep up with. But the difference with four teams is almost all the time, almost every game has some interest with me. No matter what ridiculous game is on FOX during the Titans game, I probably have some reason to flip over to it and cheer and boo. And most scoring plays seem to hurt you in some leagues and help you in others. Keeping four scores straight, remembering who is playing for me or against me in all the leagues, is a bit like sorting out that stupid Rubik’s Cube that kicked my butt all through 1985.

A Day in the Life:

I have a term to propose to the fantasy community: the Stattracker Sulk. It is defined as the feeling you get when you fire up your computer at 2:15 and figure out you are down 73-24 in a key matchup. You know how you sit and try to count how many guys are playing the late games, and how many points they may be worth, and how maybe Carson Palmer will start airing it out with the Bengals down 14 in the fourth quarter? Fun, but frustrating. No matter how much you sort of know what’s going on by watching the stat ticker on TV, you still sort of hold out hope that maybe that extra TD in the Bears game unaccounted for in the CBS ticker was really a Brandon Lloyd end-around, and you have more points coming through. With stattracker, though, the sight of how big a can your opponent is opening up on you is clearly visible. Ouch.

Tracking Your Comeback

Of course, you don’t play fantasy football or pay for extra features just to feel kicked in the teeth week after week, year after year. No, if that’s what you want, just become a Vikings fan and enjoy the same benefits for free. Don’t believe me? Two words: Morten Andersen. But I digress. The great thing about using a service like the tracker is watching your team mount a comeback. Either in the late games, where 73-24 whittles down to 80-57 and you still have a stud RB playing on NBC. Or better yet on Monday night, when your kicker starts booting 50-yarders and you frantically pull up the screen to watch your team pull into the lead (shout out to Mr. Blanks in the ol’ Maury Hills League on that one!)

Keep Up With The Johnsons: Larry, Andre, Calvin… Bryant? Bryant?? What The ^*&(^*(?

However you choose to track your progress, just remember: all the quickest access to information in the world doesn’t fix suck. You still have to draft well, set your lineups, and know the trends in the NFL. Next week, if you fire up the firefox and see that 101-19 deficit, maybe you’ll recognize. Next week, check out the pigskinpundits.com podcast on iTunes and get your Johnson straightened out before noon Sunday, when it is just too late to do anything but witness the carnage.

Show Notes

Intro Music - “Hey Ladies”, Beastie Boys

Episode 10 Pundits - The Producer, The Talent, Mrs. B - Karen Cardoza Patriotworld.com

First 35 minutes - Fantasy Talk, Second 35 minutes - Mrs. B talks New England Patriots football

1. Fantasy Talk - RB’s - Stephen Jackson, Larry Johnson, Julius Jones, Adrian Peterson, Matt Forte, Chris Johnson, Earnest Graham, Ladanian Tomlinson
2. Fantasy Talk - QB’s - Jay Cutler, Donovan McNabb, Aaron Rodgers, Kurt Warner, Carson Palmer, Ben Roethlisberger, Derek Anderson
3. Fantasy Talk - WR’s - Greg Jennings, Calvin Johnson, DeSean Jackson, Santana Moss, Eddie Royal, Lee Evans, Isaac Bruce
4. Fantasy Talk - TE’s - Jason Witten, Tony Scheffler, John Carlson, Bo Scaife, Alge Crumpler
5. FEATURE - New England Patriots Talk with the 2003 Patriots Fan of The Year - Mrs. B - Karen Cardoza www.Patriotworld.com

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

THE PRODUCER’S PICKS

PHI, NE, OAK - upset

THE TALENT”S PICKS

BUF, IND, RAMS - upset

NUDGE’S PICKS

PIT, DAL, MIA - upset

Follow our picks through the 2008 season.  Each week we’ll pick three winners, straight up, with one winner as an underdog.

I’m thinking of a can’t-miss fantasy running back. Backed up a future hall-of-famer for a few years, generated all kinds of buzz as a top NFL backup, and finally got paid to move out to the man for a struggling franchise. He’s got speed and can catch the ball out of the backfield. Despite some young guys in the new city who look to have potential at RB, my can’t-miss guy is the man with the contract that says feature back. You guess my guy yet? Thinking maybe, Michael Turner? Cause I was thinking of 2005 LaMont Jordan. That’s right. When you draft Michael Turner in the third round, confident you have your stud #2 RB, I want you to see LaMont Jordan and his three mediocre years in Oaktown. Hyped backups transplanted to lousy teams do not guarantee success.
Give me Ernest Graham, Selvin Young, or Thomas Jones, thanks.

Speaking of Mr. Jones, I have a couple more thoughts to follow up on the discussion from the most recent Pigskin Pundits episode. Jones had only one TD last year, true. But the two prior years, running behind a decent Bears line, he had 9 and 6 TDs, respectively. His decline last year may have more to do with the change of scenery to New York, where no RB has caught 40 passes in a season in four years. Brett Favre, on the other hand, has had an RB catch at least 40 passes each of the last nine years. Aside from Ahman Green, the talent at RB in Green Bay has not been as good as you think in those years. Thomas Jones, on the other hand, caught 56 passes out of the backfield in 2004. Know who the Bears’ QB was in ’04? There were four of them, and the best of the four was Chad Hutchinson. Actually, that’s pretty much the caliber of QBs Jones has played with his whole career. Give him Favre, the Jets new O-line, and a pick in the fourth round of this year’s fantasy draft.

One more stat for those who think Jones is too old and has too much mileage to be effective:
Thomas Jones, 30 years old, 1659 career carries
LaDanian Tomlinson, 29 years old, 2365 career carries

Signed,

THE TALENT
pigskinpundits.com